I know no one really likes to talk about masturbation, but i’ve written over 1,000 words on it, so here goes! I want to talk today about why masturbation is so good for us and how we can enhance our experience of it to help us manifest our soul´s true calling.
What is masturbation?
Planned Parenthood describes it as ‘the act of touching your own genitals for sexual stimulation’. I think we can go a little deeper than this, but on the base of it, this is what it literally means.
It is something that we all think about and want to do, but in reality we are seeing stats (explained below) showing that womxn are doing it a LOT less than men and i personally find that totally confusing.
Because… not only are vaginas created solely for the purpose of pleasure but when we orgasm, which is the end result we should all (ALL) be aiming for it can help us in so many ways. I am going to explain why it is scientifically beneficial for us then i am going to look into it from a more spiritual, energetic and emotional way – because, we aren’t in a science lesson anymore and i want to teach you the reality of sexual pleasure – that i 100% know you won’t have been taught! Obviously…
Why is masturbation so good for us?
There are many benefits to masturbation, it can help you…
- relieve built-up stress
- sleep better
- boost your mood
- feel pleasure
- relieve cramps
- release sexual tension
- have better sex
- better understand your wants and needs
- boosts the immune system
So why don’t more people masturbate?
In a recent video from AaspSCIENCE it says that 99% of men and 72% of womxn masturbate. Only 72% womxn!?
I think this comes down to many things – shame, guilt, worry, fear, anxiety and feeling like it’s something ‘dirty’. As with most of the things that weigh us down in life, feelings around masturbation are fed to us when we are children. It is not seem as something normal, although, of course it is! Especially with womxn.
Why do womxn masturbate less than men?
In a study done in 2014, Mona Chalabi from FiveThirtyEight did some research on Indiana University’s National Survey of Sexual Health and Behaviour (NSSHB) and found that across all age groups – men were always out’performing’ womxn on the amount of times they were masturbating a year, month, week,day!
A lot of the reason why womxn don’t masturbate as much as men is due to a more readily fluctuating hormonal balance. Our sex drives are not as constant as men’s so our desire to be sexual in any capacity reduces at certain times of our cycle.
I think also this comes down to the impression we are brought up to have about our bodies. Womxn’s sexuality used to be harnessed and celebrated – think back to the ancient Gods and Goddesses. They were celebrated for their sexuality, their incestuous, romantic, passionate relationships. But now… i mean think about Christianity as a prime example – Jesus was born from a virgin Mother. I mean literally, the saviour of the world was created from a virgin… absolutely no sex allowed please, thank you very much!!
But also, since the introduction of the patriarchal system we now live in, womxn have been taught to shut up and cover up. So being brought up in this society places a pressure on womxn to see sex as a means to pleasure their partner and to find their sexuality in the quiet, dark confines of the marital bedroom.
However, things are clearly changing. We have so much more freedom than we have ever had before. BUT… there are still places around the world where womxn are being harmed (FGM), harassed, persecuted and shamed and even killed for their sexuality. If you can walk around feeling sexually liberated – note that you are privileged as there are many womxn around the world who cannot.
Getting to know the sacred space of the feminine
“this is the perfect place for women to live, right next to the fertile huevos, their eggs, their female seeds. There the tiniest ideas and the largest ones are waiting for our minds and actions to make them manifest”Clarissa Pinkola Estes – Women Who Run With The Wolves
The sacred space of the feminine is where we store, develop and give birth to all that we are as womxn. This space – whether you have a womb space or not, whether you identify in the masculine and still hold this space, or whether you indeed have fertile space or not – this can still be the place where we live from our womxnhood.
One study in the Netherlands found that when people reach orgasm, the lateral orbit frontal cortex temporarily shuts down. This is the region of the brain that is responsible for behaviour control. We are essentially in a deep state of surrender to the experience. When we masturbate, we release oxytocin into our brains; this gives us the feeling of intimacy and pleasure. This, coupled with the pleasure we hold for ourselves in the art of masturbation allows us to see ourselves and the world in which we choose to live as a powerhouse of ideas, facilitations and actions that allow us to live in our authenticity.
On an energetic level, the flow of energy in your body speeds up when you masturbate. The body, meridians and chakras all open up to receive an unrestricted flow of energy. Alignment occurs between the vibration of the physical and non-physical perspective. Therefore you will experience an alignment and integration of the physical and non-physical elements of mind, body and spirit.
During orgasm, the awareness of the identity or ego evaporates as your body is consumed with the physical, mental and spiritual bliss of pleasure; it allows you to reach a higher state of consciousness and enlightenment.
What Clarissa says in her quote from the most beautiful book ever written is honouring that space as our energy centre. The sexual organs breathe life into our bodies, it is a way of identifying ourselves – whether that is with the feminine, masculine or other. But still, the duplicity of energy will always run within us. To embrace our femininity is not to say – i am a woman. It is to recognise the beauty of the creative, dynamic, wild and emotional threads that run through us and make us who we are.
If we continue to break down this energy to ‘fit in’ with the world around us – we lose our essence; we lose vitality of Mother Earth who has birthed us. We lose the connection with the sacredness of all femmes, Goddesses and divine womxn who have come before us and will come afterwards.
So how can we use masturbation as a tool for manifestation?
The sacred act of masturbation, that leads to an orgasm (as it should!) is the combined practice of integrated the self, mind, body and soul as one. The experience of masturbation and the final orgasm should allow you to lose yourself in this existence – to reach a higher level of consciousness. Human life is developed from the sexual act and the orgasm, so orgasm and the process of conception go hand in hand together. So with this idea, you will see how orgasm is the ultimate creative force.
So what are you creating for yourself? Using the art of masturbation, you can manifest/create whatever you desire. The orgasm, reaching the state of blissful surrender to the universal force that takes you at that moment, allows you a state to reach limitless possibility for your life. What you focus on at that moment of bliss is what you will conceive.
What you think about when you masturbate and orgasm is where you thoughts will flow, what your heart will notice and where your stomach will lead you to act. Use the energetic freedom of that moment to focus you mind on that end result. So even if you use different thoughts when you near climax, when you reach the climax of your arousal, switch your thoughts to that of what you want to manifest for yourself and allow the energy, the movement to another dimension of consciousness to take you where you want to go.
How do i work out what i want to manifest?
If you meditate this is the perfect time to get in tune with what you want to manifest. But if you don’t – this is how you can cultivate a sacred space to listen to your heart and soul without the clutter of thoughts in your mind.
Go into a room with a journal, a piece of paper or whatever you want to write things down. Set the mood for some deep soul searching – dim the lights, light some candles play some chilled music and sit comfortably.
Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Deep inhales through your nose for 6 seconds, hold and release heavily through your mouth. Do this about 10 times then regulate your breathing to what feels natural.
When thoughts come in and out, allow them to, acknowledge them, thank them and let them go along their way. I often just say – thank you, not now, later and they go. Do this as often as you need to allow your thoughts to quieten.
When you feel still, allow your mind to wander – allow it to search deep within and ask yourself, what is it that i want? What do i want to create for myself? What is my deep heart and soul longing?
Take your time here. Don’t rush the process, a billion and one things might come up, or you may feel very sure about one specific thing. When you feel like you have got to that moment, open your eyes and journal it out. No thought is too big, too crazy, too small or insignificant. These are your thoughts, this is your time – honour that.
Now, when you have your paper in front of you – you will see what it is that you desire. This is what you are going to focus on when you masturbate.
How do you masturbate in tune with your sacred self?
Masturbation is an art form in itself that is unique to every person. There are many ways in which you can masturbate; we will look at those now.
- Vaginal – using your fingers, toys etc to penetrate your vagina, will lead to an orgasm that you will feel inside you
- Clitoral – using fingers or toys that will take the stress away from internal penetration if this is not for you
- Anal – again, you can use fingers or toys for this area of your body. You may feel the need to urinate during masturbation in this area, but you will feel contractions around your anus rather than your vagina
- Combination – this is about personal preference, you can use fingers or toys to play with your clitoris, vagina and anus. When you stimulate all 3, especially you G-Spot at the same time, you will feel an incredibly powerful orgasm that will leave you convulsing and perhaps ejaculating
- Erogenous zones – these are you breasts, stomach, thighs, ears, neck – whatever and wherever you need to find pleasure on your body. These are a good place to start to turn yourself on and can aid in the final orgasm
When you want to masturbate – find some quiet time, where you won’t be interrupted (unless you want to be of course!). Set the mood – light some candles, light some incense, change the bed sheets, get naked or where something that makes you feel sexual and secure. Let you mind wander to whatever it is that gets you in the mood. Take some you time – remember, this is about you and your bodily needs; it doesn’t matter if it happens in 2 minutes or an hour. This is your time, allow yourself to feel the needs of your body.
When you feel your orgasm building, if your mind has been wandering to the erotic, lead your thoughts back to the thing you want to manifest. Or simply repeat affirmations about yourself in order to feel truly in tune with yourself. Orgasming to your name, the wonderful things that make you up is a sure way to bring positive vibes to yourself and can help you learn to love yourself. When you orgasm, let yourself go… allow your body, your mind and your soul to connect with each other – visualise, speak, shout, scream the things that you wish to manifest for yourself – and so mote it be (and so it shall be).